


feel again before it’s too late

by jen_smr



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Androids, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Just for a little bit, Light Angst, M/M, Minor renmin, renjun is a rich kid, renjun likes being in denial
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23591206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jen_smr/pseuds/jen_smr
Summary: “Renjun, this is Jeno. He’s the lastest D-NCT042300 model, and he’ll be acting as your guardian. He can help with numerous tasks, and he’ll be monitoring over you to make sure you are constantly safe.”Renjun’s jaw wanted to drop from his skull’s structure. Out of all things Renjun had been expected, a hunk of scrap metal having to follow him around was not on his list.“Are you serious? He’s a robot.”orRenjun, a wealthy heir, foolishly falls for an android with warm skin, a cute eye smile, and the brightest laughs.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62





	1. one // reality felt like a dream

**Author's Note:**

> hi i’m posting this on a whim but i hope everyone likes it !!! i started writing this one afternoon because i was missing jeno :’)

Renjun smoothed out his dress shirt, feeling the material brush against his fingers as the white fabric straightened out. He had mind to wonder why his parents had called him into their office. Perhaps it was another event where they wished for him to make an appearance. Renjun wasn’t too fond of those. The air was often too stuffy, his suit too hot, and he had to force a perfect smile on his face and act as if his opinions hadn’t differ from those he was speaking to. Renjun tried to not let the thought sour his mood, letting out a quiet sigh as he reached for the doorknob.

Renjun entered the room carefully, eyeing his parents where his father sat at his desk, his wife stood beside him. 

“Mother, Father,” Renjun nodded towards his parents in greeting, walking towards the pair when his mother lightly gestured for Renjun to come over, “You had called for me?”

“Take a seat, Renjun,” His father had spoken up that time around. Renjun pushed his worry to the pit of his gut, moving to take a seat across from his father.

“You may come in now.”

Renjun looked at his mother who had just spoken, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Who-?”

He stopped his question there, twisting his head upon hearing the side door open. Renjun watched as a boy seemingly around his age entered, closing the door behind him with ease as if he had prepared so, practicing hundreds of times beforehand. The boy hadn’t given even a single glance towards Renjun, his eyes cold as his hands were held behind his back. Renjun turned his attention back towards his mother as she began speaking, her chin raised up high.

“Renjun, this is Jeno. He’s the lastest D-NCT042300 model, and he’ll be acting as your guardian. He can help with numerous tasks, and he’ll be monitoring over you to make sure you are constantly safe.”

Renjun’s jaw wanted to drop from his skull’s structure. Out of all things Renjun had been expected, a hunk of scrap metal having to follow him around was not on his list.

“Are you serious? He’s a _robot_.”

“He’s an android, Renjun.” His father cut him off sternly, “And the best of his kind. You are a Huang. One of the heirs to our company as well as a member of one of the wealthiest families known. Jeno will become a good addition to your life.”

Renjun felt himself sink into his chair, deciding that he no longer cared whether he was keeping a good posture or not despite feeling his mother’s glare pierce through his ribs. His lips stretched out into a thin line, “Does Sicheng have one?”

His father shook his head.

“Your brother is a grown man and unlike you, he accepts the bodyguards we have provided for him.”

Renjun sunk further into his seat, mumbling under his breath, “I’m a grown man too.”

“Don’t be stubborn. You’re still a teenager, Renjun. We don’t want you to make any rash decisions. Now, do you have any questions before you are dismissed?”

“No. I think I’ve heard enough here.” Renjun scoffed out. Sitting up, he took a quick look at ‘ _Jeno_ ’, narrowing his eyes at the android. To his disappointment, the boy returned no visible reaction before Renjun had abruptly stood up and turned to march out of the room. He was allowed two... three... _four_ steps away from the chair before his parents called him back. 

Renjun froze in his spot for a moment— contemplating the idea of simply storming out of the room, but decided against the action last minute— groaning as he turned around, Renjun dragged his feet back towards his parents.

“What?” The boy grumbled out as he refused to make eye contact with his parents.

“Bring Jeno with you, Renjun.”

Renjun kept his hard gaze as he brought his eyes off the floor, bringing his glare towards Jeno whose irises seem to see right past him like a wall of glass. His eyes were blank and unfocused, the feeling of Uncanny Valley threatened to crawl up Renjun’s skin. 

“ _Fine_.” Renjun barked out, his voice laced with poison as he reached for Jeno’s hand.

However, he hadn’t expected the android to be so… _warm?_

Jeno hadn’t felt like touching cold hard metal as Renjun would’ve expected from the boy. On the contrary, his hands felt soft— human. If his parents hadn’t said anything, Renjun might’ve even believed that Jeno was just another one of your run-of-the-mill average teenage boy. 

Renjun was pulled out of his daze the moment Jeno’s eyes flashed, light piercing through from behind his synthetic eyes. He shook any strange thoughts from his head as he replaced his shocked expression for a bitter scowl in its place. Renjun pulled the boy forward, and the android followed without resistance, allowing the small boy to stomp out of the office with their hands intertwined. Their footsteps echoed as Renjun yanked the android across the empty halls. He released his tight grip from the android in order to pull out his key card from his wallet, scanning the card to his bedroom’s door before he hazardly pushed the door open, seeing as the lights flickered on.

“Come on.” Renjun hissed through his clenched teeth, grabbing Jeno’s wrist to tug the boy into his room. Renjun listened as the door shut behind the android, the entrance letting out a soft noise to inform Renjun that it had automatically locked itself.

Renjun sighed as he pulled Jeno further into his bedroom, pushing the android to sit upon his queen-sized bed, “Just… Stay there for a second, okay? I need a moment.”

Jeno nodded as he sat politely, no further movement coming from the android.

Renjun turned away from him, taking a couple steps away from his own bed.

“An android… My parents got me a fucking android…” Renjun groaned out, pushing his hands against his face before he drew his hands away, taking deep breaths as he ran his fingers through his hair. Renjun wanted to scream— he wanted to let everyone know how frustrated he was with the situation, let his cries be known to the whole world. He wanted to bang his head across his pure ivory walls and never wake up. 

But he didn’t.

Instead the boy let his breaths fill the room, feeling as the AC’s air blew gently at his skin. Renjun sighed one last time before he walked towards his desk, plopping himself onto his chair as it wheeled a couple feet away from its original position due to the sheer amount of force Renjun threw upon it. Renjun rolled himself back to his desk, reaching for his book bag, the small boy pulled out an old sketchbook Jaemin had gifted to him that previous year for his birthday. He opened to the latest page where he had been doodling moomins upon the thick sheets. Renjun leaned over to grab a black pen from a mug that had sat upon his desk. He uncapped the pen with grace, delicately balancing it between his fingers as he began running the dark ink over the page of his sketchbook.

Renjun allowed the silence to fall over him like a comfortable blanket, nothing but the light ticking of the clock and his soft breathing is heard. Renjun would’ve completely forgotten about the other entity that he left on his bed— if he hadn’t spoken up, of course.

“Did I do something you aren’t pleased about?”

Renjun paused his movement for a second before dropping his pen. He twisted his chair to the side, turning to face the android who— hadn’t moved from where Renjun had left him— gazed back at him carefully. Renjun opened his mouth, completely and absolutely prepared to answer “yes”, but his mouth shut as quickly as it had opened. The words that he had planned to say left his system, balled up at his gut and dissipated before they had the chance to leave his lips. Jeno’s face was still relatively blank, but Renjun noticed small things. The way his lips were just the _littlest bit_ turned downwards or the small furrow of his eyebrows. With his new discovery, he felt guilty as Jeno continued to voice out words.

“Do you hate me?” Jeno tilted his head as if he was genuinely confused. Maybe Renjun was placing too many unsolvable variables into the android’s systems, unknowingly causing his network to fail. Or maybe that wasn’t possible. Maybe Jeno was just placing an illusion of human expression across his face, a deception programmed to draw people in. 

Renjun wouldn’t know.

What he _did_ know, however, was an illusion or not, it was getting to him. He felt bad, curling his hands into fists upon his lap, Renjun heard himself sigh. The boy leaned back into his chair, running one hand through his hair as he glanced to the side in order to stare into his empty walls for a moment.

“Look I-” Renjun looked back towards the android who only blinked at him in return. “I don’t hate you.”

Renjun watched as the android’s eyes seemed to light up, a radiant gleam tracing his irises in a circle before sparkling away. Jeno’s back straightened up, his furrowed eyebrows and downturned lip replaced with a neutral face and the lightest tilt of his head.

“I’m not happy with our situation either though.” Renjun sighed, “I really don’t like the thought of having you follow me everywhere.”

Renjun clicked his tongue before he twisted his chair back towards his desk. The boy leaned forward, grabbing the pen that laid upon his sketchbook before capping it closed, returning it back to its original spot in his carefully positioned mug.

“I-“

Renjun paused upon hearing the android’s voice, his fingertips still ghosting over the bottom of the pen.

“I can’t claim that I won’t be by your side more often than not. I was given a command by your parents, and I cannot go against their expectations.” The android voiced out calmly and clearly, not a single sign of apprehensive can be heard through his voice.

Yet, it was nice.

Low and charming in its own way.

Renjun slowly turned around, a delicate action as his eyes matched with Jeno’s, the android stared back at Renjun with a sense of _something_ Renjun couldn’t quite pinpoint swimming in his eyes. However, it was peaceful, almost reassuring in a way. Renjun couldn’t exactly tell you in vivid detail.

How could he if he’s barely got anything figured out himself?

“I’ll try to make you comfortable to the best of my ability. I will respect your boundaries, Renjun.”

Renjun felt his throat go dry, but he tried to swallow his breath down anyways. He pushed his chair towards his bed til the wheels softly crashed into the edge. Renjun leaned forward, his chest pressed gently onto the mattress as he rested his head on his arms.

“...How about you?” Renjun asked, his voice quiet yet Jeno had still managed to hear.

“What do you mean?”

“Is there anything I should know about you? Any rules? Do I have to like... charge you? Replace your batteries? Are you gonna go apeshit crazy for blood like all the robots in those sci-fi movies or-?” Renjun lifted his head up, rising slightly while using one of his hands to gesture along with his words.

Jeno’s eyes flashed once more (they seem to do that often) before he spun out a reply.

“I have multiple rules programmed into my code. Yes, you have to charge me. And no, I cannot go…” Jeno tilted his head, seeming to ponder for a moment, “ _Apeshit crazy_? It’s against my laws. I cannot go against a command given let alone injure or place a human in harm.”

Renjun stared back at Jeno, the other only blinked once again.

“...Did I say something wrong?”

At that Renjun sputtered before letting out an abrupt cackle that was hiding at the back of his throat. The boy giggled, flopped himself back onto his bed as genuine laughs fell from his lips.

“Holy shit.” Renjun caught his own breath, gasping for a second as his grin refused to fall from his face. Renjun looked up towards the android, a new expression on Jeno’s face that clearly marked his confusion, “You actually said _apeshit crazy_. That’s so weird. It doesn’t match up with the rest of your tone or words.”

The slight downturned curve of Jeno’s lips reinstated itself to the android’s face, and Renjun felt his own smile begin to fumble.

Had _he_ said something wrong?

“Sorry, I’ll refrain from using that type of language.” Jeno had said, the sentence causing Renjun’s face to contour up in puzzlement. His head took a moment to comprehend the words.

“...Oh! No, you got it wrong! I like it!” Renjun paused, the feeling in his cheeks threatening to heat up as he repeated, “I like it. I prefer it that way rather than you sounding so formal. It was just funny when you say it with such a straight face.”

Jeno seemed to process for a second before he nodded, “Okay, I’ll try to make my words not so formal? I’ll be more… _chill_ from now on.”

Renjun laughed again, the noise echoed throughout his room.

“You still say it with a straight face. It doesn’t really work out but…” Renjun allowed himself to smile at the android, “You’ll get the hang of it.”

At that moment, Renjun decided, yeah, maybe he was stuck with an android. 

But at least that android was Jeno. An android who knew how to look confused, wanted to make sure Renjun was comfortable, and repeated words like _apeshit crazy._ It sparked a sense of curiosity within Renjun, like a child with a new toy. He wanted to know what else he could draw out of the android.

And just maybe.

Renjun could make do.

  
  
  


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**Injunie**

So yeah Ig I have an android now??

**Nana**

Cool but is he hot

**Injunie**

JAEMIN

**Hyuck**

Jaem is just asking the true questions here ;P

**Injunie**

I fucking hate you two I’m going to sleep

**Hyuck**

don’t have too much fun <3

**Injunie**

Fuck off

  
  
  


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Per usual, Renjun awoken to the loud blaring of the alarm set on his phone. The boy groaned as he reached over to grab the device from his bedside table, unplugging it from its cord as he checked the time. The numbers 7:10 stared back at him, and Renjun was forced to squint at his phone from the sheer brightness of his screen. He let out another groan as he rose from his sheets. Renjun noticed his room seemed a bit cleaner than usual, out of the ordinary, but he hadn’t thought much about it after. The boy simply got up begrudgingly before making his way towards his washroom.

As Renjun walked out of his room, his uniform lazily tucked into his pants, tie hung loosely around his neck, and backpack weighing on his shoulders, a savoury aroma that filled the air finally hit him like a rough punch to the gut once he set foot into his kitchen. Renjun felt his own mouth begin to water, and he swallowed before he could have the chance to drool. He took a look upon the counter to see a dish, the entree carefully positioned upon the ceramic. As Renjun’s eyes strayed away from the counter, they caught the culprit who must’ve prepared the breakfast. His hands were scrubbing away at a pan over the sink, water flowing down onto his hands gently.

“Jeno? How long have you been here?” Renjun questioned as he walked towards a stool that faced the counter, sliding his bag onto the floor before pushing himself up into the seat. He placed his arms on the countertop, leaning his chin upon his palms as his eyes laid on the back of the android’s head.

Jeno twisted his head, his face was still blank per usual, “Not long. Did you just wake up?” Jeno answered before quickly retracting his attention back to the pan. Renjun made a noise of affirmation before he watched silently as the android washed the soapy suds from the pan before storing it to its typical spot. Jeno wiped his hands dry before he looked back at Renjun who only tilted his head towards the plate on the table.

“Is that mine or…?” Renjun pointed towards the dish, reaching for it the moment Jeno nodded, “Eggs on toast, Nice.”

“Is that okay? I know it’s not much.” Jeno replied before he walked towards the counter, resting his arms upon the opposite side to Renjun. Renjun nodded as he took a bite from the corner. The boy perked up, making a noise of contentment in the process.

“It’s good!” Renjun hummed out before leaning in for another bite.

“I’m glad.” Jeno finally made his way around towards the only other boy in the room, taking a seat beside him.

“Renjun,” Jeno seemed to hesitate— if androids were even allowed to hesitate— before continuing his statement, “I’ll be driving you to school from now on. I’m also gonna accompany you throughout the day.”

Renjun paused his chewing for a second, before looking back at the android. Renjun would argue that in such a short amount of time, Jeno’s eyes quickly changed in some sort of way. Renjun wouldn’t be able to say how exactly, but they didn’t seem as unfocused as Renjun could recall. It felt more as if Jeno was looking at him rather than right through him. So, even if a part of him wanted to, he couldn’t get frustrated with the android. Jeno was as stuck in the situation as he was. So, Renjun only sighed before nodding.

“Okay.”

Renjun had already taken his last bite as Jeno picked up his plate from the counter and brought it over towards the sink. The android washed the single plate as Renjun stepped off of the stool and began reaching towards his backpack. Jeno made his way back to him, glancing down at the boy the moment he stood directly in front of him.

“Do you want me to carry that?” Jeno questioned. Renjun made a face of confusion before he followed Jeno’s gaze down to his hands which were wrapped around the straps of his backpack. Renjun looked back at the android before he swung his backpack over his shoulders.

Renjun shook his head before he spoke, “It’s fine. Let’s go?” Jeno seemed to process Renjun’s words before he nodded. The boy turned away from Renjun as he made his way towards the key rack, grabbing at one of the multiple keys that hung upon the hooks. Renjun stayed silent as the pair walked to the car.

The ride was less than thrilling— the two sat in relative silence the whole drive. Renjun would argue that it was unfair on his part. Jeno wasn’t affected by the slightly tensed quiet, but Renjun shifted in his seat, unaware of if he should speak up or simply continue to watch as the scenery passed by his window.

After some thought Renjun settled with the latter.

Upon arriving, Jeno opened one of the side compartments before pulling out a plain black lanyard with what appeared to be an ID of sorts at the end. The android carefully threw the lanyard over his head, allowing it to rest around his neck before looking back at Renjun. 

“Ready to go?” Jeno asked gently.

Renjun replied with a simple nod which Jeno returned before the two began to exit the vehicle. Jeno locked the car, stuffing the keys into his pocket as he walked over to Renjun, who waited for Jeno without much thought. As Renjun walked beside Jeno, he began to notice more. The android scanned the area with care, his eyes were narrowed and his irises held an assertive look. Renjun walked with his usual stance, an aura that surrounded him alone from being— well to put it plainly, a Huang. Regardless of being in a school surrounded by only the richest and strongest families— Renjun was still placed above them all.

He was never too fond of that proposition. 

Despite all the advantages that came along with it.

The title felt lonely and tedious at times.

Yet, even then, Renjun felt the extra amount of eyes on him. Of course, there were always eyes on him— always exceptions that Renjun would feel pressured to keep up with. They wouldn’t ever go away, and Renjun learned that fact from a very young age. Just the same, Renjun had learned to be observant— learned body language like it was the back of his hand. He knew how a person was feeling merely from a quick glance, and Renjun was dangerous in that sense.

He was aware. 

So naturally, at that very moment he was aware of the way people were looking. Only this time, the extra eyes were not upon him, but rather _Jeno_ . Jeno who walked beside him with a menacing gaze in his expression. Renjun had firstly concluded that it must’ve been because of the threatening presence the android had forcefully pushed out, followed by the idea that it might’ve been because he was walking with _Renjun._ Renjun who was elegant and intimidating— who only allowed Jaemin or Donghyuck close. But on closer inspection, those eyes that followed the two throughout the halls weren’t that of fear or doubt, but rather— _infatuation_? This was only confirmed when Jeno had glanced over to a small group of three girls whispering to each other, only for each of them to flush a soft pink with their eyes widened at Jeno’s one-second attention. Renjun wanted to scoff.

Still, something about it bugged Renjun, pushed his buttons in the wrong way— just a single time. Even then, a single time was more than enough for Renjun. He pushed himself closer to the android and looped an arm around the boy’s arm. Renjun looked forward plainly as he’s reminded about how _warm_ the android was, feeling Jeno’s heat through a layer of fabric between their skin. If it had affected Renjun, the boy refused to show any signs.

“Renjun?”

Renjun brought his eyes over to Jeno, who— drastically different from his earlier glare— looked at Renjun gently. Renjun would might even play around with the thought and say that concern played across Jeno’s face, but of course he wouldn’t ever admit that aloud.

“Is something bothering you?” Jeno questioned, prompting Renjun to shake his head in denial. Jeno’s eyes narrowed once more as he scanned their environment.

“I just wanted to hold on, okay? Stop looking like you want to kill someone. I thought we already discussed you _not_ going blood-crazy.”

“I’m not going blo-“

“Well then come on!” Renjun groaned out as tugged at Jeno’s arm, pulling him through the halls similar to the way he had the night before. 

Like the night before, Jeno followed along with little to no hesitation.

Renjun and Jeno walked into the classroom, eyes followed the two as Renjun sat on a seat to the side, Jeno choosing to take a seat behind the boy. Renjun sighed as he pulled out a pencil and his notes, grateful when their professor walked into the room at the same moment. Now was the moment to focus on his studies. No troubles were allowed to enter Renjun’s head.

Not even Jeno, a warm android who laid his eyes ever so softly on Renjun.

  
  
  


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Lunch came sooner than later.

Renjun found himself already exhausted with the day. Too many eyes on him— too many eyes on _Jeno._ Renjun constantly felt irked, that arm that looped around Jeno’s stopped reassuring him after a while. Reassuring him from what? Renjun himself isn’t even quite sure anymore. The looks? The new forms of judgement? What felt like fangirls cooing over an idol? Maybe. Or maybe not. Renjun only sighed as he swung his backpack over his shoulder, walking out of his classroom with Jeno following close behind. Renjun was allowed one step out of the room before-

“JUNNIE!”

Renjun snapped his head to the left only to see his overly cheerful (see: annoying!) friend run towards him, his calmer friend slowly trailing behind. Renjun rolled his eyes as his best friend threw himself at him, causing the small boy to stumble back a couple steps.

“Hyuck-” Renjun had groaned out, but naturally swung an arm around his best friend anyways. At once, Renjun felt the way Jeno’s eyes laid on the two carefully— analyzing. Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed as he took a step towards the two, pushing Renjun to speak up.

“These are my friends. It’s okay, Jeno.” Renjun assured as he pulled away from Donghyuck who looked towards the android, glancing over his build once before a mischievous grin grew across his cheeks.

“Oh. _This_ is Jeno?” Donghyuck unlatched himself from Renjun the same moment Jaemin had finally caught up, choosing to stand beside Renjun, “Hi, Jeno! Lee Donghyuck, nice to meet you!”

Donghyuck stuck a hand out which caused Jeno to slowly drag his eyes down Donghyuck’s arm, ending at his hand. Jeno stood there idly before his eyes lit up for a moment.

“Nice to meet you too, Donghyuck.” Jeno stuck out his hand, encasing Donghyuck’s in his own. The android shoke Donghyuck’s hand firmly.

“Oh! Renjun,” Donghyuck twisted his head around without letting go of Jeno’s hand, _that_ grin still across his face, “he’s strong. Deep voice too. I _see_ you, Jun.”

Renjun almost choked.

“Donghyuck! You-!” Renjun grabbed onto Donghyuck’s arm, dragging him away from Jeno who only seemed lost with the situation, “I really hate you sometimes, you know? Let’s just head to lunch, stop being annoying, Hyuck.”

To no one’s surprise, Donghyuck continued teasing Renjun while asking Jeno questions the android seemed unable to comprehend.

When the four of them sat at a table, Donghyuck stuffed himself beside Renjun, causing the android to sit with Jaemin across from the two. The moment everyone was seated, Jeno scanned the area once more before asking a question— not exactly directed towards any of them. Renjun looked on carefully.

“People keep looking this way. Is there a reason why? Is there something we should be worried about?” Jeno asked, his eyes darting around the room. Donghyuck scoffed as he grabbed the apple off his tray before sinking his teeth through the fruit.

“They always stare, just ignore it. They start getting weird ideas when you don’t.” Donghyuck stated coldly before taking another bite, “I will say though, there’s definitely more people staring than usual.”

“Why?”

“They’re probably staring at you.” Jaemin replied coolly, nudging the android before he grabbed the sandwich off his tray. Jeno looked at Jaemin, a look of confusion blooming across the android’s face. Jeno tilted his head.

“Why would they stare at me?”

Jaemin eyed the android for a moment before shrugging.

“You’re attractive. People around here like a good-looking face.” Jaemin took a bite of his sandwich, swallowing down his bite before he smiled at Jeno, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the other, “You could get anyone to fall for you.”

Jeno looked down at his lap, his eyes flashing light for a split-second. If Renjun were to blink at that moment, he has no doubt that he would’ve missed it. Renjun feels like he almost lost his breath, feeling extremely taken back when his eyes suddenly made contact with Jeno’s.

Jeno began to speak, purposefully not breaking his eye contact with Renjun.

“Anyone?” 

Renjun swallowed.

“Yeah! With a face like that, anyone would fall for you.” Jaemin chuckled out, causing Jeno to pull his gaze away from Renjun and return it to the other. Renjun wishes he could say he was fine— unaffected, but soon after Renjun heard an alluring sound that only pulled him in further. 

“I’ll keep note of that.”

Renjun couldn’t believe his eyes as Jeno _smiled_ at Jaemin, low chuckles falling from his lips as his eye crinkled up into crescents. For some reason, Renjun found himself flushed, hearing his own heartbeat resonate in his ears as his eyes found themselves locked onto Jeno. 

He hadn’t known the android could _smile— laugh._

He had only seen the boy show looks of confusion, bewilderment, _expressionless_ even, but _happiness? Amusement?_

Renjun had decided that he found his favorite expression on the android— objectively speaking of course. 

Jeno just looked his best when he was smiling.

Nothing about the way Renjun's face heated up or the way his heart felt like it was melting in his chest decided that.

  
  
  


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_“I didn’t know you could smile.” Renjun had commented as casually as he could manage when the two walked to his next period, his arm still looped around Jeno’s, tightening it upon seeing another group check out the android._

_“Ah. Most androids could, they just choose not to. I didn't think much about it…” Jeno only glanced down at Renjun, “Do you not like it? I could stop if you want. If you find it weird or whatever.”_

_Renjun shook his head before squeaking out, “No, I like it.”_

_Jeno grinned softly._

_Renjun was captivated._

_Jeno nodded, “Okay.”_

_What a plain answer._

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


His room was dim, only lightly lit by the lamp beside his desk and the night view gleaming from his windows. Renjun blinked rapidly as he stared down at his textbook, already feeling fatigued as the need to pass out washed over him. Renjun’s eyes rested for a moment, jerking open only upon hearing a soft clink of a glass beside him.

“Orange juice.”

_It was Jeno._

Renjun looked at the glass beside him before trailing his eyes up to look at Jeno tiredly who only continued to speak, “Are you okay? Do you need help?”

The voice came out as a whisper— a soothing one at that. 

It didn’t help the fact that Renjun wanted to do nothing more to fall asleep, his face pressed onto his textbook.

Renjun felt himself yawn, covering his mouth politely in the process. He shook his head softly, “No, no. I’m fine, don’t worry about it. You’ve done a lot for me today already, Jeno.”

Renjun wasn’t simply praising for no reason either. Jeno had taken notes in every single one of Renjun’s classes unbeknownst to Renjun, only handing Renjun the notes once he had started his work at home. Renjun stared down at the written notes for a while then— noticing the android’s nice handwriting and the way his notes were straightforward, simple yet helpful. Jeno had even knelt beside Renjun at one point, giving the boy tips and pointers that found themselves to be tremendously useful.

Renjun was grateful to say the least.

He carefully wrapped a hand around the glass Jeno had brought up, he could feel the wet condensation that had formed around it. Bringing it up to his lips, Renjun took a generous sip, tasting the sweet citrus against his tongue before placing it back down onto his desk.

“Where’s your nearest charger port?” Jeno suddenly questioned, causing Renjun to make a small noise of confusion as he twisted his chair to better face Jeno.

“Umm, there’s one right here.” Renjun pointed not more than a couple inches from himself, right beside his desk, “There’s also one by my bed…? And another one in the opposite corner over there, by the door to the balcony. Why?”

“My battery is running low.” Jeno informed.

“Oh… Do you need like a wire…? A cable or something?”

Jeno laughed, and Renjun felt the soft noise echo in his head. The heart within his chest wished to chase after the sound.

“No, nothing like that. I just kinda… sit next to it…? As long as I’m close enough, it’ll work. The closer I am the faster though.” Jeno said gently, “I’ll go to the one by the door.”

Renjun nodded and watched as the android walked across the room only to sit down in the corner, in front of where Renjun knew a charger port was to be. The android wrapped his arms around his legs lazily, looking up to catch Renjun’s eyes. He smiled.

“Goodnight, Renjun.”

Renjun paused before letting out yet another nod.

“Night, Jeno.”

Renjun watched a little longer before the android’s eyes flickered with a dim light— on and off, and Renjun wondered if he should’ve been concerned. However, the flickering stopped after a couple seconds and Jeno’s eyes shut closed before the android leaned his head against the wall.

_Is he… asleep?_

Renjun supposes that was the closest Jeno could get to ‘falling asleep’. He needed to restore his energy, just like a human would. Renjun shook the thought from his head. He must’ve been having some troubleshoots in his brain with the amount of times he’s compared Jeno to a normal human being at this point.

He tried to remind himself that Jeno wasn’t much more than metal and wires paired alongside an extremely advanced AI.

It wasn’t something difficult to understand, therefore he understood it.

Jeno was an android.

An android who was warm with the cutest eye smile and a laugh that seemed to be able to light the whole sky up— but still.

An android.

Renjun did his best to wrap his head around the concept.

He shook his head after deciding he was overthinking for no reason before returning his focus back to his textbook— Renjun had four more pages to read before he’d allow himself to rest. After about half an hour, Renjun had already stuffed his textbook back into his backpack hazardly, completely prepared to flop onto his bed. Yet, for some unknown reason, Renjun’s eyes decided to stray over to no other than _Jeno._ The android still seemed shut off, and as Renjun hadn't yet released his curtains from their constraint, the skylights reflected off Jeno’s face carefully, his mouth partially parted. 

_He looks uncomfortable._

Renjun couldn’t help himself from thinking those thoughts.

“...Is he not cold?” Renjun whispered the thought aloud, his eyes glued upon the android. He paused before reaching over to his desk, picking up the empty glass which had previously contained the orange juice.

Renjun was careful when exiting his room. It was late, he hadn’t wished to disturb anyone. Renjun glanced both ways before gently pulling at his door, making sure to leave it slightly ajar in order to return to the room later on. Renjun began making his way into the kitchen. When he entered, Renjun quietly allowed the water to run before he started scrubbing at the glass cautiously. He rinsed the cup with ease before returning the glass to it’s shelf.

“Renjun?”

Renjun jumped at the voice as he abruptly turned around, his eyes widened. Upon seeing the other person in front of him, Renjun closed his eyes as he let out a small sigh, letting his head drop in relief.

“Sicheng, you can’t just sneak up on me like that!” Renjun hissed, crossing his arms.

“Sorry,” Sicheng replied with a grin, dragging out the ‘y’.

Renjun could tell his older brother was not the littlest bit apologetic. 

“I was about to make some tea before heading back to my room. Jasmine, your favorite. You want some?” Sicheng offered as he walked past Renjun, reaching into their pantry.

On a usual basis, Renjun would’ve declined. But he was a sucker for a nice cup of jasmine tea, so he accepted without much hesitation.

Renjun sat down at their table as he listened to Sicheng shuffle around the kitchen, the soft shrill of the water boiling ringing throughout the air. It wasn’t long before Sicheng made his way over to Renjun, placing a single cup of tea in front of his younger brother before sitting across from him.

“Careful, it’s still hot.” Sicheng informed before blowing at the surface of his own cup.

Renjun only nodded as he stared down at the liquid before mirroring Sicheng. Picking up the cup carefully before blowing at the steaming tea swimming within the cup, Renjun watched with small bits of amusement as the liquid circled around the cup. He took a sip from the cup.

“I heard mother and father got you an android,” Sicheng spoke before also taking a sip from his cup, “Jeno, huh? How is he?”

Renjun gulped down the rest of his tea, the hot liquid burning at the back of his throat. He placed the cup down on his plate, the ceramic clanking loudly upon hitting each other.

“I-I’m gonna head back to my room,” Renjun blurted out before snapping up from his chair.

As he left the room, Renjun swears he heard a couple giggles fall from Sicheng’s lips.

Renjun hadn’t gone back to his room, however.

Rather he took a small detour towards where he knew their extra blankets were stored, grabbing a rather thick one before making his way back to his bedroom. Renjun slipped past his door silently before shutting it completely closed.

Renjun sighed before he turned around.

Jeno was still in the corner.

The city lights still reflected onto Jeno’s skin.

Renjun quietly shuffled towards his bed, dropping the blanket onto the bed before switching the lamp beside his bed on. He walked over to the right side of his curtains, unlatching the ribbon that tied the curtains closed, he slowly began to pull the large curtains across his room in order to cover the ginormous window that took up almost the entire side of that wall. Only the balcony door stopped the wall from being an entire window, and even then that door was made of glass. The curtain stopped halfway, and Renjun began to walk over to the left side of the room. Renjun felt himself hover over Jeno as he unlatched the ribbon from the left side of his curtains. Renjun felt as if he was holding his breath as he dragged the curtain across his room once again, careful to make sure the fabric didn’t smack against Jeno’s leg.

Renjun dropped the ribbons onto his desk’s chair before he grabbed the blanket from his bed. 

He felt as if time slowed down when he made his way towards Jeno. The blanket in his arms suddenly weighing him down. What felt like minutes of walking, Renjun finally found himself in front of Jeno. He let out a gentle breath before crouching down beside the android. Renjun slowly began to wrap the blanket around Jeno, tucking in the android carefully. Renjun had a tiny smile on his face as he tucked the blanket around Jeno’s arm. 

When he suddenly felt something tighten around his wrist.

“What are you doing?”

Renjun felt his eyes widened as he jerked his head up, only to see Jeno’s eyes look back at him.

A moment of silence passed between the two, and Renjun felt his own lungs malfunction.

Renjun who was usually so sharp-tongued felt as if he couldn’t utter a word even if his life had depended on it.

“Renjun…?” The android breathed out, his eyes lidded as he stared at Renjun.

“You looked cold.” Renjun forced out as he pulled his face away from Jeno’s. 

Jeno’s eyes still followed Renjun, he released his grip around Renjun’s wrist.

“I don’t produce warmth the same way you do, Renjun.”

Renjun laughed, but it sounded forced even to his own ears.

“Right! Sorry, I didn’t think too far about it. I could just-” Renjun went to pull the blanket off Jeno, only for the android to suddenly grip onto the blanket tightly. Renjun’s eyes only widened once more as he looked back to Jeno.

“No.” The android only mumbled, causing Renjun to release his grasp on the blanket— confused. Jeno shifted around slightly before pulling the blanket over his own body. Jeno’s eyes made contact with Renjun. Renjun felt himself swallow as Jeno’s eyes went soft to match the gente grin that appeared on his face.

“... You’re right.” Jeno whispered softly, not breaking his eyes away from Renjun’s, “It’s warm.”

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


Renjun adjusted the tie around his neck, which had felt as if it was clinging to his skin.

Yet another party.

Renjun isn’t even so sure what for anymore.

Jeno had driven him out to the venue, and as quickly as he brought him here, left in order to speak with his parents. Renjun felt filled with bitterness. 

He just _knew_ his parents were using Jeno as a bragging right.

“Feeling a little lonely?” The voice came as a man stood beside Renjun.

“You don’t need to watch over me. I’ll be fine, Sicheng.” Renjun only grumpled out before taking a sip from his champagne glass. It was filled with sparkling water, and Renjun absolutely despised it. It tasted disgusting, and the fizz felt uncomfortable against his throat. He still forced himself to swallow it down, only this time he didn’t have to constrain a smile onto his lips. Perhaps for once, Renjun was glad it was only his brother that stood beside him.

“I know.” Sicheng only hummed out, “You seem quite fond of Jeno.”

“Hah!” Renjun rolled his eyes, “Please. Where would you get an idea like that?”

“Do you think I didn’t see you walk back into your room with an extra blanket that one night?” Sicheng teased, ruffling at Renjun’s hair. The younger let out a noise of dissatisfaction as he pushed his brother’s hand away.

“That was for me!” Renjun argued back, his tone holding no room for disagreements.

It was a lie of course, but Sicheng didn’t have to know that. 

“I’m sure it was, Renjun.” Sicheng smirked at his brother before sighing, “I should go chat with the other people here. You should do the same, Junnie. Making connections early is important.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Renjun had enough of the party already, and he had only spoken to Sicheng. The boy stomped off grumpily as he made his way over to the appetizers they were serving. Renjun was tired of eating hors d'œuvres, but at least his mouth would appreciate the distraction.

Renjun stuffed his face with about three different selections before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned hazardly, smacking the hand away with little grace.

“Ah! Huang’s son! I hadn’t meant to startle you, my apologies.” The man in front of Renjun, seemingly in his fifties, belly laughed.

Renjun, on the other hand, wasn’t so amused.

“Ha hah. Do you require something?” Renjun forced out, his perfectly trained smile plastered across his lips.

“How improper of me, let me introduce myself! Gwan Dongwon, owner of Gwan Industries, we are a new sponsor to the Huangs.”

“...It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gwan.” The sugar-coated voice was Renjun’s, but Renjun hated the sweetness dripping off his words when he wanted this man to do nothing but leave him alone, “I hope we can be good partners with one another.”

“Yes! Yes! Of course! Speaking of partners, do you have someone special, Mr. Huang? A nice girlfriend, for instance?” The man seemed pushy. Renjun took a step back.

_Okay._ This was getting far too uncomfortable and personal for Renjun’s liking.

“No, I do not. I do not believe that’s an appropriate question to ask either.” Renjun said firmly, the smile on his face _almost_ threatened to slip off in place of a scowl.

“Oh, but I have this beautiful daughter around your age! I’m sure the two of you would get along wonderfully!” He took a step towards Renjun. The man’s smile at that point went from slightly off-putting to creepy to Renjun’s eyes.

“...I’m sure your daughter is lovely, Mr. Gwan,” Renjun’s smile fell from his face as he pushed the words out through clenched teeth, “But I am not interested in any sort of relationship at this moment.”

Renjun began walking away at that point. Renjun was a ticking time bomb, and he refused to put up with that man’s demands.

“Wait!”

Renjun felt a hand harshly wrap around his wrist, fingers digging into his skin.

“What are you doing?! Let go of me!” Renjun yelled at the man, tugging at his own wrist, but the man only tightened his grip.

“No! Not until you listen to me! My daughter! You’ll love her! Are you seriously so selfish that you won’t even give her a chance!?” The man roared, Renjun felt like his wrist was going to bruise.

“I’ve never even met your daughter! Get your hands off of me!”

Renjun felt tears form in the corner of his eyes as he tried to pull his wrist back with little results.

_Why was no one doing anything? Were they that distracted?! Was Renjun that forgettable?_

The death grip surrounding Renjun’s wrist suddenly disappeared, and Renjun felt himself stumbled a couple steps before he could finally find his balance.

“Just what were you doing?” The voice was so sharp, intimidating even to Renjun. 

Renjun looked up, and saw Jeno.

_Jeno helped him._

_Jeno came._

_Jeno’s here._

The android's glare was serious, unwavering. The man’s hand was gripped within Jeno’s, and Renjun watched as he tried to break out of Jeno’s grasp in a futile effort.

“W-Who do you think you are!? Are you crazy!? Let go of me in this instance!” 

Jeno’s eyes only narrowed, Renjun could see the way Jeno’s grip only tightened around the man’s wrist.

“Aren’t you the insane one? Huang Renjun is an important figure at the event you are currently attending. If Mrs. Huang or Mr. Huang heard of this, I doubt they would hesitate to cut any ties with you, Gwan Dongwon.” Jeno’s voice was so cold, Renjun never heard anything like it come from him.

“H-How do you know my name?!”

“Facial recognition is very important to my system.” Jeno stated with a grin, his signature eye smile appearing on his face, “Security is here now. I hope you had a great time here, Mr. Gwan. I can assure you that the Huangs will not be inviting you back anytime soon.”

Jeno released his grip, and just as he had stated, two large security guards stormed towards the man before escorting him out of the venue. Jeno only watched with narrowed eyes until they were no longer within view.

“...Renjun, are you okay?” Jeno brought his gaze back to Renjun, his eyes turned soft. There was a tiny downturned frown across his face, and his eyebrows were furrowed. Renjun paused before nodding gently.

“I’m okay… Thank you, Jeno. I really needed you so much right now.” Renjun breathed out, unable to move. Jeno shook his head.

“I should’ve came sooner.” Jeno whispered as he stepped towards Renjun, taking Renjun’s wrist in his hand before lifting it up towards his face. The boy rubbed Renjun’s wrist gently before he continued speaking, “When I came, you were giving off so many signs of distress. Seriously, I should’ve been here faster.” 

“You were the only one who came.” Renjun looked up at Jeno, whose face seemed blank once more.

_Unreadable._

The music echoing off the walls began playing a soft tune, and Renjun only observed as Jeno brought his hand closer, kissing the inside of his wrist.

“May I have this dance, Huang Renjun?” Jeno spoke, a smile reappearing on his face. In the moment Renjun gave him a shy nod, the boy gently placed a hand around Renjun’s hip. So carefully— as if Renjun would break if anything stronger was placed on him. Renjun wrapped one hand around Jeno’s shoulder, and the two began swaying around to the music. Delicate circles as Renjun took the time to admire the suit Jeno was dressed in. He was so used to seeing the boy in a plain black long-sleeved combined with dark-washed jeans, Renjun was beginning to wonder if the clothes were programmed with him. Renjun decided the suit was a nice change. It fit Jeno well.

“What are you thinking about?” Jeno whispered as they peacefully followed the music.

“... Hmm. Nothing important.” Renjun murmured, avoiding Jeno’s gaze. Renjun quickly discovered that the action had been a bad idea as he caught numerous eyes on him. Some people were whispering, some stared harshly. Yet, all of them looked judgmental.

Renjun wanted to throw up.

“Everyone’s staring. I hate it.” Renjun mumbled, his eyes fixed to the ground.

It was his own personal thought. 

For himself, but of course Jeno had heard.

“I’m not quite fond of it either. Everyone seems like they have expectations for you, that doesn’t seem fair.” Jeno confessed, and Renjun’s eyes only widened as he looked up at Jeno.

“You could see it too?”

“I couldn’t at first.” Jeno spoke as he pulled Renjun closer, “I don’t know what changed, but the way they look at you is distasteful.”

The music slowly faded away as the song came to an end, and Renjun felt as Jeno pulled away from him.

“It was a pleasure dancing with you, Renjun.” Jeno bowed politely, and for a single moment Renjun hadn’t cared about those staring.

The feeling came back quickly though.

“Jeno.” Renjun jerked forward to squish the boy’s cheeks between his hands, “Jeno, let’s get out of here.”

Jeno’s eyes widened before he brought his own hands up, removing Renjun’s hands off his face.

“R-Renjun, I can’t do that.” Jeno stammered out, leaving Renjun feeling confused for a moment.

Firstly because Jeno had driven him here, so Renjun couldn’t really understand what the boy meant. Renjun knew Jeno was fully capable of driving a vehicle, so what was wrong?

Secondly because why did Jeno have to look so shocked? Panicked? Was getting Renjun out of a situation he hated that much of a bad idea to Jeno?

“Jeno, please. I hate it here, I just want to leave. Please,” Renjun breathed out, placing his hands on Jeno’s shoulders, “I don’t want to be here. Jeno, let’s leave.”

Jeno looked around before biting his bottom lip, his eyes seemed to shake.

“R-Renjun… I-I can’t, it’s against one of my rules. Y-Your parents said to keep you here til the end of the party. I c-can’t let you leave… It’s against my programming, Renjun.” 

“Jeno, _please._ ”

Jeno paused.

Renjun watched as Jeno swallowed.

_“Okay.”_

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


Renjun wondered if he had made a mistake. Jeno had seemed so anxious on their drive home, and the moment they arrived home, Jeno’s expression went blank once again. When Renjun asked Jeno questions, he only got short replies, lucky if the answer was any longer than a single word. Renjun felt frustrated with the android. What was wrong with him? It was just a single stupid rule. Weren’t rules meant to be broken anyways? Renjun couldn’t find it himself to push any harder, exhausted with the day, Renjun only flopped onto his bed before passing out. Renjun woke up in the middle of the night. It was five to be exact. Renjun’s mind had cleared itself, and he sighed before taking out his phone. He began typing into the little bar provided.

_‘Can androids break rules?’_

Renjun pushed the search button, and he waited patiently as the sites began to load in. He clicked onto the first one that had popped up, which ended up being an official site.

_Q &As // ANDROIDS —_

_Q: Can androids break any of the rules programmed into their code?_

_A: No. Androids should not be able to break any of their programmed rules. They cannot injure or harm a human nor can they go against a human’s words or commands. All androids are tested before being sold. No android can or will break their rules._

Renjun paused, his eyebrows furrowing at the words he read. He tried rereading the answer to no avail. The words hadn’t changed no matter how long Renjun squinted his eyes at them.

_Maybe it’s just this site… I should look around more…_

Yet, no matter how many sites Renjun visited, no matter how many forums or articles Renjun read, they all said the same thing.

It was impossible.

But, it _couldn’t_ be _impossible_. 

Not when Renjun witnessed Jeno do just that yesterday.

But everything else seemed to say otherwise.

“... What the fuck?” Renjun mumbled to himself, unable to find anything helpful.

Maybe Renjun was taking Jeno breaking one of his rules way too lightly.


	2. two // and a dream felt like reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is chapter is like 10k so uhhh have fun LMAO i even chopped it short and decided moved some scenes into the next chapter —3—

Renjun thinks he made a mistake. He wanted to ask Jeno— wanted to question the whole situation that should’ve been impossible, but how could he? How could he ask Jeno anything when it seemed as if the android was only actively avoiding him? Short replies, further distances, blank gazes. Jeno hadn’t even let Renjun loop their arms together, softly requesting the boy to let go when he had tried. No more random glasses of orange juice, no more notes, no more goodnights, Renjun was getting annoyed.

For someone who was supposed to monitor over him, wasn’t Jeno being too distant?

Renjun couldn’t help himself from snapping once.

_“Are you just gonna stand there? Are you not gonna help me with my assignments? Anything, Jeno?” Renjun knew that his tone was rough. He wondered if Jeno would even be able to pick that up. A part of him wanted Jeno to, wanted Jeno to just snap out of it already— for the boy to stop looking at him with such an empty look in his eyes._

If Renjun knew forcing Jeno to break a dumb rule would cause the andriod to act this way, he would’ve never left that dammed party.

_Jeno only stood there for a moment before his eyes flashed with light._

_“Do you need my assistance?”_

_Renjun hated that stupid formal language Jeno used as well._

_Hadn’t Renjun told him to not speak so formally!?_

_He can’t even recall the last time the boy called Renjun by his name._

_Renjun only scoffed when the boy spoke, twisting his chair to face his desk._

_“Nevermind.”_

_Jeno hadn’t replied after._

Renjun wasn’t happy with the situation to say the very least.

Jeno had stopped sleeping in his room as well.

Renjun had caught the boy sitting on the floor of one of their living rooms one late night, his head leaning against the wall.

He wrapped Jeno in a blanket before heading back to his room.

The next day, Renjun woke up to a folded blanket on his desk’s chair, along with a single note in that same stupid neat handwriting.

_‘You don’t need to do that anymore.’_

Renjun grumpily tore the note apart before crumpling it, tossing the torn paper into the nearest trash can.

_Fine! If Jeno didn’t want Renjun’s kindness then he wouldn’t receive it._

Yet, nothing made Renjun more frustrated than this simple fact: Only he was affected.

The feeling was one-sided, and Renjun was the only one who cared.

Renjun wanted to laugh bitterly. How fitting for Jeno, huh? To show zero signs of emotions. Zero signs of remorse and zero sense of thought. Renjun shouldn’t have expected more than that.

But still.

There were still small moments that left Renjun hoping.

Jeno still stepped in between if someone came too close.

Jeno still scanned the area with a cold glare and never strayed far from Renjun when they were in public.

Renjun recalls one night he had passed out on his desk while working.

The next day, he woke up in his bed— a glass of water beside him along with a single note.

Same neat handwriting.

_‘Don’t overwork yourself’_

Renjun remembers quickly stumbling out of his bed soon after, running through the halls with the note held tightly between his fingers. His breath was unsteady when he found the other rearranging the flowers within one of their hallways.

“Jeno!” Renjun called out the name. Somewhere along the way it began to feel unfamiliar to his tongue, as if it was a completely forgein language he’s never even heard of. The name leaving a harsh metallic taste sticking to the roof of his mouth. 

Jeno turned his head towards Renjun, staring for no longer than five seconds before turning his head back to the vase of flowers, repositioning a single iris before turning back to Renjun. Renjun held his breath as Jeno walked towards him, counting the boy’s steps as they echoed, lingering in Renjun’s head. Jeno paused in front of him— Renjun only stared through his eyelashes before swallowing carefully. Jeno looked on for another second. If looks could kill, Renjun might as well have already been declared dead, buried alongside a funeral that would be broadcasted to the world as everyone pretended to mourn the late heir. Renjun watched spitefully as Jeno attentively shut his eyes before bowing to him, his head facing the floor.

“Good morning.”

Those were the only two words Jeno spoke aloud before walking right past Renjun.

If Renjun focused hard enough, he could feel the light breeze as Jeno passed— could feel the way Jeno’s arm just barely grazed his own.

His jaw tightened, securing his grip on the single note in his hand, Renjun could feel his own nails dig into his skin.

That note, a familiar fate to the last one, ended up in the nearest trash can, filled with nothing but a sour feeling.

And now, at the current point of Renjun’s life, he found himself in the single place he felt the most free.

The dance studio on their third floor.

He had learned ballet from a young age. He was only four when he woke up one day before being escorted into a room surrounded by mirrors. A young lady with curly hair was in the corner performing movements Renjun never knew possible. He watched with awe at the time, a spark of admiration blooming in his chest. He only learned names afterwards.

His parents wanted him to quit when he turned twelve.

Renjun refused, fought for the one thing he was passionate about at the time, and since those restless nights of crying and empty promises, he continued learning the art to that day.

So, there he was.

Renjun inhaled a deep breath before he took off.

Graceful movements paired with fluid directions. 

Renjun felt unrestrained, empowered as he stepped from one foot onto another. Renjun felt as light as a feather. Air ran through his hair gently, and suddenly the room was spinning. He landed smoothly, a trickle of sweat dripping down his jaw as the music slowly faded into the background, his heavy breathing being the most prominent noise in the room. 

A ringing in his head as Renjun stumbled onto the ground, stumping down to the floor as he leaned against the wall. He breathed in, breathed out, and reached for his water bottle. Renjun must’ve gulped down half of the bottle before he pulled away, taking a couple more heavy breaths. He closed his eyes, feeling as the AC’s air blasted against his heated skin. He stayed there catching his breath for, at the very least, a couple minutes. 

He opened his eyes to an illusion.

“Ah.” Renjun reached forward, the mirage feeling only so much more real as his hands made contact, “You’re in my head so much these days, I think I’m starting to see things.”

He ran his fingers over warm skin.

“Jeno.” Renjun’s eyes stared directly into the one’s in front of him, “You’re really making me go insane, huh?” 

“You’re not disappearing.” Renjun hummed, pressing his fingers into the boy’s skin, “How strange.”

The boy in front of him only pressed his lips together in a straight line, shook his head before lifting his own hands and placing them over Renjun’s.

Renjun takes note of their warmth.

“I’m real. I’m here, Renjun.” The boy in front of him whispered, looking into Renjun’s eyes.

“Oh.” Renjun only mumbled before pulling his hands away, “You said my name… That doesn’t fit you anymore.”

Renjun simply blurted out his thoughts, no room for any bitter feelings. Maybe he was too tired at that point. Out of the blue, Jeno appeared as if he hadn’t been giving Renjun the cold shoulder, but Renjun couldn’t find it in himself to be angry like he was at first. Didn’t want to put in the effort to scream or act out. So he only sat there, staring at Jeno with hooded eyes, refusing to blink as if the boy in front of him would cease to exist if he did.

“I’m sorry.”

The words rang in Renjun’s ears, echoed throughout the large studio. Renjun only closed his eyes, almost as if he needed a moment to process the words entering his head.

“...Why were you acting so cold?” Renjun whispered, his voice calm despite the emotions whirling throughout his body, “Is it because I made you go against a rule…? I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. I’ll stay put next time no matter how much I hate it.” 

Jeno opened his mouth, and _was that hesitation Renjun saw?_

“Renjun, what happened that night shouldn’t have been possible. Even now, me being here shouldn’t be possible.” Jeno admitted something Renjun already knew, along with something he hadn’t.

Renjun, with all the feelings ready to burst out of his body, only said the first word that came to his head.

“Why?”

Jeno brought his eyes down to the floor, a smile on his face.

Yet, it was different from the ones Renjun has seen beforehand.

This one felt so mixed, so complex— so bittersweet.

“Everything programmed into me says so,” Jeno confesses softly, “I shouldn’t have let you leave, but I did. I didn’t just _let_ you leave, I _helped_ you leave. I actively went against what I was told to do. Everything inside me felt like a blaring alarm, a warning to not make that mistake.”

Jeno shook his head before he looked back to Renjun, who only watched the boy with furrowed brows, confusion swimming in his eyes.

“But I _did_ make that mistake. I made that mistake, and I only made it worse.” Jeno continued to speak, “Your parents questioned me, and I _lied_ to them, Renjun. That’s not something I was ever programmed to do. My AI shouldn’t have ever been able to learn that, but for some reason, _I did._ ”

“Everything rewired itself to fix those mistakes. My coding suddenly told me to be cold and reserved, not show any signs of emotion or care, and that was the easiest thing to do.” 

Jeno’s voice went hushed.

“But I didn’t want to do that, Renjun.”

Renjun abruptly felt a hand wrap around his own, he only watched with widened eyes as Jeno carefully encased his hand around his.

“For the first time, I had a concept of wants and desires. Even right now, when everything is telling me to get away from you,” Jeno’s eyes met Renjun’s, and Renjun’s eyes followed the glowing spark that traced Jeno’s irises in a perfect circle, “I... don’t want to leave you.”

Renjun paused, finding himself lost with the whole situation.

“...Does this mean you’ll stop ignoring me?” Renjun whispered the most curious thought in his head.

For the first time in a while, Renjun saw a genuine smile fall upon Jeno’s lips before the boy nodded.

And for the first time in a while, Renjun felt his heart beat harshly against his chest.

“No… I don’t think I could do that anymore,” Jeno slowly let go of Renjun’s hand, bringing his arm back to his sides. His next words came as a hushed noise, barely audible, “Not when I know being with you feels so much better.”

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


Things hadn’t exactly gone back to normal after that.

It hadn’t been distant— that wasn’t the way to describe it. Careful? That fit the situation better. It was as if the two were tiptoeing around the other, scared to do something that would cause any complications or mishaps. It was the type of careful that wasn’t ideal, but it was the most comfortable to follow. Jeno started giving him notes again, made him breakfast in the morning, and would mumble at him to not stay up so late. 

But Renjun hadn’t wrapped his arm around Jeno’s anymore. Yet, he always made sure to stay close. Their arms often brushed against each other as they walked through the halls. Donghyuck would often tease him for being glued to the other boy.

That day shouldn’t have been much different.

But it was.

And for once, Renjun found himself caught off guard again.

“Can we talk outside?” 

Renjun lifted his head, only to be faced with a girl.

Renjun wouldn’t lie— the girl was pretty. A slim face with long blonde hair framing her pale skin, big bright eyes staring back gently. The girl was biting at her bottom lip.

This case wasn’t unfamiliar to Renjun, but it’s been awhile since the last confession. He never knew how to properly deal with another person’s feelings, especially when they seemed so abundant and genuine. Renjun would only politely decline the other’s feelings before returning to his usual schedule.

Renjun shook his head, “I’m sorry. I’m not-”

“Not you.” The girl interrupted when Renjun spoke, nodding her head in the direction behind him, “Him.” 

Renjun furrowed his eyebrows at the girl’s tone, not used to someone speaking to him with such haste. He narrowed his eyes at the girl before twisting his head to his right, his eyes met with no other than—

“Jeno?”

Jeno looked away from his conversation with Jaemin upon the call of his name, facing Renjun who watched as the android’s eyes sparked with a light for a single moment before he smiled softly at him.

“Renjun, do you need something?”

“Jeno?” The girl hummed before she took a step forward, Renjun gave her a suspicious glare as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, her face going red. The girl gave Jeno a smile, one so sickeningly sweet, Renjun wanted to wipe that look off her face. Renjun already decided that an enchanting smile like that didn’t belong to someone like her.

She batted her eyelashes at Jeno, “...Can we talk outside?”

Jeno only blinked back once, the smile falling from his face.

A moment of silence.

All eyes in the room were on them— that wasn’t a question.

Renjun’s eyes were sharp, his glare cold enough to freeze the whole room.

No one tested Renjun— everyone knew that. It was a bad idea to mess with someone like Renjun. In a school full of the most powerful and the most wealthiest, Renjun was on the top of the food chain. Renjun never liked that premise, but for once he wouldn’t have minded if the girl took notice of the atmosphere that surrounded him. Renjun was dangerous, and everyone was to know that. It hadn’t helped that Donghyuck and Jaemin hadn’t looked too at ease with the circumstances either, eyeing each other waringly. With all their moods mixed together, a vicious ambience filled the air, the whole group dripping with an unpleasant feeling. Renjun only twitched his head to the side with a single chuckle before he sat up from his seat, slamming his hands on their table.

“That’s enough,” Renjun smiled at the girl, his voice laced with venom, “Don’t you think it’s time to leave us alone? Provoking any of us isn’t a fun game.”

Renjun’s smile dropped and a glare found its way onto his face, 

There were chills that filled the room to the brim.

“At the very least,” Renjun clicked his tongue, “it wouldn’t be for you.”

The girl’s eyes only widened, her blush running off her face as she turned pale. Her fingers fidgeted as they interlocked with each other.

“...C-Can I just talk to Jeno? I-It won’t take long, I promise.”

Renjun only scoffed, “Are you serious? He’s-”

“Okay.”

Renjun snapped his head in the direction of the voice— one that was all too familiar to him, but so purely unknown to him at the same time. He looked on with shock evident on his face

“Jeno?”

Jeno pulled his gaze away from the girl in order to look at Renjun once more. Jeno only smiled gently at him, Renjun found himself upset when he couldn’t utter anything that would stop Jeno from standing up from his seat.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.” Jeno flashed his iconic eye smile, waving his hand as a goodbye before he walked off with the girl flushed pink. Renjun feels as if his eyes must’ve flashed red with irritation as he watched Jeno place his hand over the girl’s back.

Renjun ultimately decided that he disliked confessions, but he definitely despised them more if they were for Jeno. Would the boy even understand the concept of a confession? Jeno was way too nice, Renjun wouldn’t be surprised if he just said ‘yes’ to one without fully understanding. Why did Jeno even agree to going with the girl when he seemed so guarded with anyone who wasn’t Renjun or those connected to him? Renjun wished Jeno was more guarded. What if other girls take Jeno’s willingness to listen to this one girl as a chance to also start talking to him? How would-

“You’re thinking too much. Calm down, Injun.” 

Renjun felt a hand on his knee, lightly tracing circles into his pants. He held a pout on his face as he felt the perpetrator lean in close to his face. Renjun shuddered as he felt a hot breath hit his ear.

“Jeno wouldn’t do anything that’ll make you upset.”

“Shut up, Jaemin. He already did by going with that girl.” Renjun only muttered before pushing Jaemin’s face away, but allowing the hand that was tracing small circles to stay. The boy only laughed as he removed his hand from Renjun’s knee, scooting closer in order to wrap both of his arms around the smaller.

“Is our little Junnie getting frustrated over a pretty girl?” Jaemin cooed as he pinched one of Renjun’s cheeks, “Don’t worry about her. Our Injunnie is the prettiest I know.”

Renjun felt a blush run across his cheeks, still not completely used to a receiving compliment that wasn’t paired with a monotone voice.

“Ah! Renjun, so cute!” Jaemin chuckled once again before he leaned into Renjun’s neck, nuzzling into him with a grin, “You turn red whenever I compliment you. Seriously, the prettiest, Renjun.”

Renjun groaned before pushing Jaemin back harshly.

He heard a laugh fall from Donghyuck’s lips as he tossed a fry from Jaemin’s plate into his mouth, causing the victim of the thievery to switch his attention over to the other with a complaint. 

“Jeno’s walking back in,” Donghyuck only giggled out, causing Renjun to jerk his head in the direction Jeno had left. As Donghyuck had stated the boy was currently walking back to their table. Renjun felt annoyance bubble up at his gut, and he crossed his arms as Jeno made his way back to them.

“What did she say.” Renjun questioned immediately the moment Jeno slipped back into his seat. The boy only shrugged.

“She asked for my number.”

“What did you say?”

“...Zero. Four. Twenty-three. Zero. Zero. I didn’t include the ‘D-NCT’ part since she only asked for numbers.”

Silence fell upon the group for a moment before Donghyuck let out a loud snicker from behind Jeno.

It prompted the whole group to chuckle along, leaving Jeno to tilt his head in confusion.

Renjun only patted Jeno squarely on his shoulder twice as he calmed down, a smile still on his face.

“That’s good, keep doing that. Did anything else happen?”

Jeno shook his head.

“Not really.” Jeno paused, almost as if the boy needed to think for a moment, “She looked confused and asked if we could meet up sometime.”

“Mmm.” Renjun’s lips straightened out, “What did you say that time?”

“I told her no. That I wouldn’t have time because I’m always with you.” Jeno said casually, poking at the bottle of milk on Donghyuck’s tray. Renjun suddenly felt himself going hot. He couldn’t stop the small smile that made its way back onto his face, and for what? Jeno mentioning that he’s always by Renjun’s side? It wasn’t a lie, so Renjun had zero rights to feel so flustered— so happy?— at the concept. 

He only nodded before reaching into his bag, pulling out his water bottle before taking a large gulp. Renjun ran the back of his hand over his lips the moment he pulled away from his bottle, glancing once at Jeno who was laughing at something Jaemin had said, a huge smile fitting his cheeks perfectly.

Renjun couldn’t help himself from staring on, tracing the boy’s jawline with his hooded eyes. Jeno’s eyes shimmered as he replied to something Donghyuck had said. His lips looked so soft as he spoke. Renjun watched attentively as the boy’s eyes turned into crescents, listened to the boy’s voice that was laced with a heavenly sense of warmth. As Jeno laughed, Renjun decided he wouldn’t mind hearing that striking sound for as long as it was possible. The more he focused, the more overwhelmed he felt, the more heated he felt. At that current time and point, his body should’ve been fearful of overheating.

Renjun decided there must’ve been a mistake in Jaemin’s logic, Renjun couldn’t have been the prettiest.

Because with Jeno in front of him, smiling and laughing, and just _being there._

Renjun made a firm decision that there was zero chance that there was a prettier sight.

_Objectively speaking, of course._   
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


_“Do you like listening to music?” Renjun asked as he watched Jeno tap his finger along to the music Renjun began playing within the car._

_Jeno nodded._

_“It’s nice.”_

_Renjun only smiled before he began adding that song into a playlist— along with any other songs Jeno would grin at or nod along to._

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


Renjun thanked Donghyuck as he handed the water bottle to him. Intaking large amounts of water into his small body before he sat beside his best friend.

“How long are you gonna practice, Injunnie? We’ve been here for hours!” Donghyuck whined as he dropped his phone to his side— quite hazardly for a new phone, one of the latest models Renjun knew cost well over ten grand. Renjun lightly smacked his friend’s arm playfully as he took another sip from his water bottle.

“You were the one who wanted to watch me. Besides, I need to get in as much practice as possible. The recital is in three weeks. I only learned half of the choreography, I still need to refine the entire thing after I get the basics down.” Renjun sighed as he leaned his head back, hissing as his head made contact with the wall harsher than he thought it would. Donghyuck let out a small ‘tsk’ before he rubbed the back of Renjun’s head with his palm, leaving the other boy to pout at the soft sting.

“If you want an outsider’s point of view, you’re doing great so far, Jun. You look super graceful in the air. Totally different from the usual Huang Renjun I know.” Donghyuck teased, leaving Renjun to slap the boy’s arm away from his head, quietly regretting it since he liked the way Donghyuck was softly pressing his fingers into his scalp.

“Shut up, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck only laughed before he stood up.

“Really, Renjun.” Donghyuck did a small twirl on his feet. It was a little stiff, but Renjun chose not to say anything— it was cute of Donghyuck to do anyways. “You look so carefree whenever you perform. A completely different person. You look like you’re in your own little world. Almost like the Huang Renjun there doesn’t have the same pressures of the Huang Renjun I’m always looking after.”

Renjun only shook his head, but smiled at Donghyuck’s words nevertheless.

Donghyuck dropped himself beside his best friend, grabbing one of Renjun’s hands in his own.

“You and Jaemin are going to my performance this Friday, right?” Donghyuck asked, tightening his grip on Renjun’s hand who only laughed.

“When have we ever missed any of those? Of course, Nana and I will go see you. I’ll bring Jeno along too since you like seeing him so much.”

Donghyuck shined brightly on his own, but when he was on a stage— it was as if it belonged to no one else but him. Donghyuck would glow underneath all the lights, would beam so radiantly that Renjun was convinced that he must’ve outshone the stars that were hung against the dark skies. Renjun would always watch on in awe the moment his best friend would begin singing. His voice would echo along the walls, bounce off in a way that only further showcased Donghyuck’s colorful voice.

Renjun wouldn’t miss any of the boy’s performances for the world.

“I only like teasing Jeno! He seems to be catching on to my jokes though, it's getting boring.” Donghyuck admitted as he let go of Renjun’s hand.

“He was gonna learn the nature of them sooner or later. He’s pretty smart.” Renjun said as he closed his water bottle, placing it to his side.

“Mmm.” Donghyuck eyed Renjun carefully, opened his mouth with hesitation, forcing the words past his lips before he could coward away, “Do you like Jeno?”

“Yeah.” Renjun answered with ease, leaving Donghyuck’s eyes bulging from their sockets as his mouth was left agape.

“Why wouldn’t I like Jeno? He laughs at our ridiculousness. He helps with school. He even makes me breakfast everyday. I didn’t like him that much at first, but I think I’m used to him now.” Renjun shrugged before he began to stand up, stretching his arms the moment his legs were completely stood up straight.

Donghyuck only sighed, his hand over his chest.

“No, Renjun I meant…”

Renjun looked back at his friend with a soft hum.

“Do you have feelings for Jeno? ...Like _feelings_ feelings?”

A pause between the two.

Donghyuck swallowed.

And suddenly there were resounding laughs filling the air.

“What are you talking about, Donghyuck? Are you asking if I’m crushing on Jeno?” Renjun giggled, wiping away at one of his eyes that went teary from laughing.

“I’m serious! You seemed so grumpy when that girl went to talk to Jeno! When he came back, I can promise you that you were downright giving him goo-goo eyes.” Donghyuck argued, crossing his arms.

“Listen, Donghyuck,” Renjun’s smile fell from his face, and his eyes became sharp, “I can promise you that there’s no way I would ever fall for Jeno in that way. I can’t.”

Donghyuck stared back, somewhere along the way, his eyes also became keen.

“I’m just worried about you, Renjun.” Donghyuck was the one to break their eye contact, choosing to look down at his feet instead, “You know, if you like him-”

“I don’t like him, Hyuck!”

“If!” Donghyuck only let out another sigh, “There’s no research that shows that androids can feel proper emotions. He wouldn’t be able to return any of your feelings.”

Ah.

There was that word— ‘Android’.

One that somehow felt unfamiliar to him.

Renjun forgets from time to time that Jeno was that single word. With the way the boy would laugh, smile, and simply _care._ It’s almost as if Renjun’s brain has convinced itself that Jeno was just another student he met in one of his classes. Perhaps a friend of a friend— did they have a school project together?

Renjun can’t help but wonder how much simpler that would be.

There were times Renjun would be smacked by reality.

Whenever he would catch the way Jeno’s eyes flash with light for a split second.

Whenever Jeno would turn cold for certain occasions. 

And Renjun’s least favorite; Whenever Jeno would interact with his parents. Following them along like a puppet on a string, bowing to people he shouldn’t bother with, and talking in such an annoyingly monotone voice.

Renjun would go sick to the gut.

That wasn’t Jeno.

The Jeno he knew gave a bunch of cute eye smiles and liked watching the neighborhood cats with a sense of curiosity.

He only shook his head to remove himself from his own thoughts, turning his attention back to Donghyuck.

“Then you don’t need to worry about me,” Renjun properly secured the laces of his shoes, fixing the bobby pins that held his hair back, “Because I’m not into Jeno like that.”

His best friend only sighed.

Donghyuck couldn’t tell who Renjun was trying to convince anymore.

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


It started his first year of highschool, when Renjun was finally introduced to the world of fine arts. He loved it from the start, loved the creativity aspect of it all, and the way everything would slowly come together, fitting like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. After a month of the class, he was already leaving his third period with paint covered hands and lead smudged fingertips. By the end of the year, he had an art studio installed into the house’s complex, supplies organized within the room carefully.

And that’s where he currently was.

“Oh.” Renjun mumbled as he tried to squeeze out what still remained from the small tube of watercolor paint with little results. The boy only sighed before twisting the cap back on, tossing it into the bin beside him. Removing the smock that was tied around his waist, Renjun began slowly cleaning up, leaving the incomplete painting on his desk.

He found his target within a couple minutes of roaming each room.

“Jeno!”

The boy lifted his head from the counter he was wiping away at, and Renjun only watched as Jeno’s eyes glimmered, reflecting the ceiling lights that gleamed down at him.

“Hey, Renjun.” Jeno greeted before twisting towards the sink, turning the water on in order to rinse the used cloth between his hands, “Do you need something?”

Renjun sauntered over to the boy, a light bounce in his steps.

“Can you drive me downtown? I ran out of paint while I was working on a project.”

“Sure.” Jeno replied soon after, a small chuckle falling from the back of his throat, “Just let me finish up here, and we could head out.”

“Okay.” Renjun grinned as he began to walk away, only turning back once more to speak, “I’ll be in my room, come to me when you’re done!”

He looked on as Jeno nodded before throwing up a thumbs up, leaving Renjun giggling before he made his way back towards his room. Renjun hummed underneath his breath as he lightly flopped onto his bed with a gentle sigh, a small smile brushed against his cheeks.

“Donghyuck is stupid, there’s no way I’d have a crush on Jeno.” Renjun mumbled to himself as he flipped over to lay on his back, holding his phone above his face as he typed in his password swiftly. Renjun scrolled through his feeds, laughed at his group chat with Jaemin and Donghyuck, and looked at clothes online before he heard the small click of his door opening. Renjun sat up, smiling at the other who entered carefully.

Jeno gave him a small smile, his eyes crinkling up the same way Renjun grew so fond of as he gave a tiny wave.

“I just finished, ready to go?”

Renjun nodded as he stood up from his bed, pocketing his phone before he walked towards his closet’s door, “Just let me grab a coat, and we could head out.”

Renjun sauntered to the side of his room before pushing open a door, walking towards the back of his walk-in closet where he knew his coats and jackets were hung up. He unhooked his beige coat from it’s hanger, throwing it on hastily as he left the room. 

Stuffing his hands into the coat's pockets, he gave Jeno another faint smile when their eyes made contact, “Let’s go?”

The car ride was comforting, a calm and peaceful ambience filled the air; Renjun hummed gently to the songs that played from the car’s Bluetooth. As the song switched, Renjun noticed Jeno slightly raise the volume after a couple seconds into the song. Renjun grinned, bringing his phone up to add the song into the playlist he made for Jeno.

The next song that played was upbeat, Renjun sang along to it without much care, laughter falling from his lips whenever his voice would crack.

Jeno would glance over from time to time, watching with a smile that unknowingly appeared to even him.

When they parked, Renjun was the first to leave the car. He stretched after pushing the door close with his hip, letting out a noise of contentment as he turned around upon hearing Jeno’s side of the door also shut close— a soft ringing to notify them that the car had locked. Renjun watched as Jeno pocketed the keys before looking over to him.

“Where are we heading to now?” Jeno asked— and Renjun couldn’t tell if the light that traced Jeno’s eyes were coming from the sunbeams that pierced through the parking lot's openings or if they were his own. You could argue that it was Renjun’s imagination, but all he knew was a simple opinion: they were pretty.

Renjun would stare a little bit longer if he could.

“...Renjun?”

Renjun snapped out of his head, his posture straightening as he blushed— slightly shocked by his own actions and thoughts.

“R-Right! Sorry, let’s go downstairs. I usually buy paint from this one store down the block, it’s pretty close. I could pick up some more color pencils while I’m at it. This one brand I really like dropped a new color theme recently.” Renjun spoke aloud, and he began walking towards the elevator, Jeno following close behind.

That’s right— he was there to restock on his supplies! Not ogle Jeno, no matter how pretty his eyes were. Renjun never had a stronger hatred for whoever was Jeno’s design team.

Stupid Jeno with his stupid sparkly eyes, his stupid jawline, and his stupid hair.

Who allowed Jeno to look so good?

Handsome people were already a dangerous feat on their own, but to be stupid and handsome? That should be asking for a disaster. Renjun should send his complaints straight to the company.

“Hey, slow down! Is this the place you were talking about?”

Renjun felt a hand wrap around his wrist, forcing him to stumble back, bumping back against a hard chest as an arm reached out to catch him.

“Woah, sorry. Are you okay, Renjun?” 

Renjun had flinched on the way down, so when he opened his eyes and saw Jeno’s— he was a bit taken back.

“Are you alright? Your body temperature is rising suddenly, Renjun. Are you sick? Do you feel okay? Should we head back home?” Jeno spoke quickly, leaving Renjun following the movement of his lips with widened eyes. He watched on for a moment longer until his brain finally processed the other’s words, causing him to fumble as he steadied his balance, pushing his body away from Jeno’s.

“I-I’m fine!” Renjun cringed at his own volume before he looked up towards the store’s sign, finding a savior in it, “You were right, it’s this one! Let’s just head in.”

Renjun cleared his throat as he pushed the door open, feeling the air conditioning blow at his face upon stepping in.

“Ah, Renjun! Hello!” A voice greeted as he entered.

“Hello! How have you been, ahjumma?” Renjun smiled as he walked over to the cashier counter. 

The lady only sighed as she leaned forward, “Not the best. We’ve been losing business here. We still make decent money, but it gets harder as the months go by.”

Renjun's smile dropped from his face as he played with his fingers, “Oh, I’m sorry about that…”

“Oh dear boy, don’t apologize about that! You’re our most loyal customer. If anyone’s helping around here, it’s you, Renjun. You don’t have to shop here. I know there’s closer places and bigger establishments, but I’ve seen you here since you were only thirteen.” The lady grinned at Renjun, and Renjun felt his heart warm up as he returned the smile.

“Time has really passed, huh?” Renjun spoke gently.

“Renjun, do you want me to help you look around?”

“Ah-“ Renjun turned his head towards the voice, only to see Jeno still standing politely by the door, “Jeno, come here.”

Renjun took out his phone, pulling up the web before typing a couple things into it— Jeno had already made his way to Renjun, sending his eye smile to the ahjumma behind the counter.

“Here,” Renjun held his phone in front of Jeno’s face, “Can you get these colors? They’re in the corner to the far left, it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

Jeno blinked for a moment before he pulled away nodding.

“Okay.”

“Do you wanna bring my phone with you?” Renjun offered, but Jeno only shook his head.

“I don’t need it, I’ll be right back.” Jeno smiled once more before he turned on his heel, walking towards where Renjun directed.

“He’s new.”

Renjun twisted his head back towards the lady, a blush painted his cheeks.

“He’s a very handsome boy. Jeno, was it? Does he treat you well?” She asked, only causing Renjun’s face to heat up further.

“W-We’re not-! It isn’t like that!” Renjun blurted out, but the lady only laughed.

“You’ve never brought anyone here with you. In all the years I’ve known you, this is the first time I’ve seen you here with someone else.”

“It’s different!” Renjun whined like a child, and the lady only laughed once more before petting Renjun’s hair gently.

“Alright, alright! The newest stock of color pencils came out, they’re in aisle two if you’d like to look at them.”

Renjun’s eyes brightened up at the mention of the color pencils— maybe he had a small addiction to having so many hues and shades in his collection, but it certainly didn’t help that he had the profit to aid in doing so.

“Okay!” Renjun spoke cheerfully before he rushed off to take a glimpse, finding them relatively quickly thanks to a mental map of the entire store he had memorized within the depths of his head. However, he found himself running into a problem, glaring it down as it stood in front of him.

The issue was able to be summarized within three words: the top shelf.

Renjun narrowed his eyes harder as if it would cause the display of the supplies to move to a lower surface if he glowered more than he already was— it hadn’t. Renjun only sighed before he found himself on his tiptoes, gripping onto one of the lower edges as his fingers poked away at the color pencil’s packaging.

“Come on… Just a little further…” Renjun found himself mumbling under his breath. Impatient, he pushed at the box roughly. 

This proved to be a bad idea as before Renjun’s eyes he watched as the display began to tip over the edge. The moment played in front of his eyes in slow motion, but he couldn’t find himself to do anything. Renjun already knew his reflexes wouldn’t be fast enough to stop the whole box from toppling over his head.

So he only pressed his eyes shut— and hoped it wouldn’t cause too much damage.

Only.

It never hit him, or at the very least, Renjun hadn’t felt anything hit his head. He slowly opened his eyes, only to find another arm reached above his head, holding up the display before it had the chance to completely tip off the edge. Renjun tilted his head further back only for his eyes to meet with his underside of Jeno’s face. He jerked his head back down, face heating up as he watched Jeno’s hand push the display back in place.

“Are you-”

“Can you grab me one of those?”

Renjun had blurted the words— accidentally cutting Jeno’s words short. While it was an accident, a part of himself found it glad that he had done so. Jeno only stared for a moment before nodding, reaching towards the display once more in order to grab at one of the packages.

“Here.” Jeno spoke gently as he held the pencils in front of Renjun’s chest.

He only swallowed before reaching towards it, the air in his lungs going shaky upon the slight brush of Jeno’s fingers against his own. Renjun knows that he might’ve pulled back harder than he had to, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Thanks…” Renjun managed to mumble under his breath, “Did you get everything?”

Jeno grinned, nodding as he held up a basket, the tubes of watercolor sitting at the bottom. Renjun only nodded back, pushing his way through Jeno in order to walk past the boy. They paid without much words exchanged between the two. Renjun waved a polite goodbye to the ahjumma when they walked out of the store, followed by a promise that he’d be back next week to restock on charcoal. Jeno and Renjun walked upon the concrete sidewalk in a peaceful silence, no conversation filtered the air— simple chatter from other shoppers as well as the rustling nature made up the ambience. Renjun noticed Jeno slow his movement, only making a complete stop when he realized Jeno was behind him rather than matching his pace.

“Jeno?”

Jeno hadn’t responded, his gaze seemed fixed on one of the shops— refusing to turn his head even to the call of his name.

Renjun took a step towards the boy which seemed to catch his attention. Jeno twisted his head quickly, his own eyes widened as if he was surprised at his own interest.

“Can you head to the car first?” Jeno blurted out.

Renjun only furrowed his brows in confusion, “Why?”

“It’ll be quick, I promise.” Jeno gave a soft smile.

Renjun wouldn’t lie— He was weak, so he did the one thing his mind automatically decided on: He agreed.

“Okay.” Renjun spoke the words before he could even process them. He blinked as his own words, slightly in shock at his own actions. Renjun bought his hand up to his neck, resting his hand on his skin before playing with the back of his ear. He bounced back and forth on his heels, “Okay… I’ll uh- wait by the car, Jeno.”

Jeno nodded, and Renjun turned away before he could see the boy do anything more. His steps felt heavier than usual as he went— one foot in front of the other. Harsh steps upon the concrete— the walk back to the car felt longer than the walk to store. 

Renjun waited as patiently as he could manage, fumbling with his phone, he regretted rushing away. He should’ve asked Jeno for the car keys. At least that way it wouldn’t look like he was loitering around the car, waiting for something that wouldn’t come. He looked down at his phone, playing with the charm that hung off of the case— a gift from Donghyuck years ago. 

Renjun unlocked his phone before opening his group chat with Jaemin and Donghyuck. Without any context, he sent a game of Crazy 8 into the chatroom. He waited for a moment til Jaemin’s avatar popped up, Donghyuck arriving quickly afterwards. 

At one point Donghyuck somehow won three different times, causing Jaemin and him to have an unspoken truce against the current lead. Renjun grinned brightly, mentally cheering himself when he won with a plus four card after Jaemin had reversed the turn back to him.

“Hey! Renjun!”

Renjun turned his head at the call of his name, perking up against his own will. A gentle smile blooming across his face as he watched Jeno jog towards him, one arm behind his back. 

“Jeno.” Renjun shoved his phone back into his pocket, sending a wave towards the boy, “What did you-”

He was cut short as Jeno’s hand brushed through his hair, positioning something in it swiftly but delicately at the same time. Renjun blinked rapidly, holding his breath back upon feeling Jeno so close to him. If he focused hard enough, he was sure that he could feel Jeno’s warmth amidst the cool air. Jeno pulled back with a smile on his face.

“I saw a display a couple blocks back. It made me think of you, so I couldn’t help but take a closer look.” Jeno brushed the back of his hand on Renjun’s head, causing Renjun to blush unexpectedly, “I was right. It fits you well.”

Renjun was finally able to let go of the breath he was holding back as Jeno took a step back. Yet, Renjun hadn’t said any words in reply to Jeno’s, only lifting one of his hands to touch the object in his hair.

“A hibiscus flower,” Jeno announced, and Renjun turned his head to the car in order to look at his own reflection, there sat a flower resting between the strands of his hair, “It stands for delicate beauty.”

Jeno unlocked the car, but Renjun couldn’t stop staring at the flower through his own reflection.

He felt his eyes shake, his mouth forming the slightest pout as his eyebrows furrowed— the blush still evident on his face.

It was really pretty.

  
  
  


◇▢□▫▣▫□▢◇

  
  
  


“Do you need anything?”

Renjun shook his head in reply to one of the theater’s staff, and he tied the last of his laces. The small boy smiled, pushing his nerves to the back of his mind as one of the hairdressers came by with jewelled pins to arrange into his pulled back hair. He thanked the lady before she ran off to work with some other girls who were also to perform that day. He only sighed, taking in a deep breath before looking over into the big mirror to his side.

And Renjun felt as his worries gradually left as his mouth pressed together.

A small easy smile found itself on his face.

Renjun looked over himself.

Sparkly pins in his hair along with rhinestones underneath his delicately smoked eyes. His outfit might’ve been considered flashy. Pure white and covered ornaments that were sure to reflect the lights of the stage. 

Yet, it was one of the loveliest things he’s ever laid his eyes on.

Renjun decided that maybe Donghyuck was onto something.

Because when he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see Huang Renjun.

He didn’t see himself, and for whatever that reason may be— it felt liberating.

The moment he stepped onto the stage, he was no longer ‘Huang Renjun’. He was just a boy. With rhinestones under his eyes and sparkly pins in his hair. The moment he was in the air, he didn’t have to think about his studies, his parents, or anything that was troubling his mind. His only focus was allowed to be the control of his breathing and the flow of his limbs— how graceful was he on his feet.

“You look nice.”

Renjun’s head jerked at the voice, turning to the culprit with his eyes widened, blushing in embarrassment at his own thoughts. Weren’t they a little narcissistic?

Jeno only stood there, smiling softly when his eyes met with Renjun’s.

Renjun drew his eyes down to the ground.

“Ah. Thank you, Jeno.” Renjun spoke gently, fumbling with his nails that were painted white.

“INJUN!” 

Renjun flitched at the voice, tilting his head to the side only to see his two best friends rush into the backstage. Donghyuck reached him first per usual, hugging him tightly. Perhaps Renjun should’ve been worried about the boy ruining his carefully put together hair or clothes, but he hadn’t really cared too much. He hugged Donghyuck back just as tightly.

“You’re gonna do great out there, Injunnie.” Donghyuck mumbled with a pout as he pulled away, his sweater paws resting on Renjun’s cheeks.

Renjun only laughed.

“Of course, I am. I didn’t practice so much for nothing.”

Donghyuck pulled back, allowing Jaemin to slip forward. He tilted his head downwards before giving Renjun a large smile, a bright grin falling upon his lips. Renjun returned the smile, a careful one-sided grin flopping across his face.

Jaemin opened his mouth, “Renjun, you-”

“Is everyone ready!? Curtains will open in ten minutes!”

Jaemin was cut off by one of the staff, Renjun turned his head at the announcement. He watched as others grew more alert while some were still stretching. Renjun flipped his head back to Jaemin.

“Looks like you guys have to go soon.” Renjun spoke, shrugging with a shy grin, “What were you saying, Nana?”

Jaemin opened his mouth before closing it again, similar to that of a fish. He only shook his head before smiling once again.

“Nothing.” Jaemin brought his hand up before patting it down on Renjun’s head, surprising him slightly in the process, “Good luck, Renjun.”

Donghyuck was the one to pull Jaemin away, mentioning how they would have to get back to their seats quickly— Jeno stayed behind.

“Renjun,” 

“Jeno,”

The two spoke at the same time, Renjun only swayed his hand back and forth.

“Sorry, you go first.”

Jeno nodded as he took a step closer to Renjun, “Jaemin, Donghyuck, and I are seated together in the third row by the center. Your parents are a row back near the left. Just thought you might want to know.”

“Oh- okay. Thanks, Jeno.” Renjun nodded at him, unsure of what else to say.

Jeno grinned at him once again; Renjun felt his insides do something funny— maybe the nerves were finally getting to him.

“Good luck.” Jeno said lightly.

Renjun watched as Jeno turned on his feet before walking off— Renjun observed as the boy slowly left his field of vision.

Renjun let out a careful sigh before twisting around on his heel.

It was showtime.

The lights dimmed as the introduction announcement began. Renjun listened to the regular greetings before the opening act was called to the stage. He watched the show from behind the stage with ease, that same sense of astonishment and admiration that he had at age four found itself bubbling up at his chest. It was starting to near the end of the show. He looked towards the crowd, saw his parents clap with that same sense of unamusement, a straight line drawn across their face. Renjun didn’t hesitate to look away from them. Instead, he surveyed the zone for his friends.

He grinned brighter as his eyes caught them amidst the feeble lighting. Donghyuck cheered loudly while Jaemin sat beside him, clapping enthusiastically. Yet, Renjun watched Jeno the most carefully. Jeno wasn’t clapping nor was he smiling. However, if you were to ask Renjun— his reaction was the most desirable one.

Because Jeno watched with his eyes shimmering, his mouth slightly agape.

He watched with wonder.

Renjun almost thought that he should’ve pulled away, as if the moment was one too personal— even for him.

“Huang Renjun! Please get ready! You’re up next!”

Renjun’s eyes widened as he pulled away, his breath finally getting caught in his throat at the call of his name. Renjun let out a deep breath before he looked in the mirror once more. Fixing a lock of hair that fell in front of his face, he softly smiled.

Renjun waited behind the curtains as his name was being announced. His feet crossed gently, his arms held up with poise. He closed his eyes as he heard the song begin, could hear the rustling of the curtains opening up. When Renjun’s eyes opened up, all he saw was light— he took off.

Renjun could feel his feet bounce off of one to another, could feel the rushing air blowing through his hair. His knees bent, lifting his heels off the ground, he made sure to keep his balance.

The music played boomingly in his ears. Renjun could hear his own breathing— hear his own heart rate as he danced til he was at the top of the elevated part of the stage.

It was so unlike him; Renjun doesn’t know why he did it.

He looked towards the audience.

But, he wasn’t looking mindlessly. His eyes caught the area relatively quickly, but he couldn’t find what he was looking for.

He saw Donghyuck.

He saw Jaemin.

He couldn’t see Jeno.

Where Jeno had previously sat, he could only find an empty seat.

Renjun felt his breath leave his body as he leaped to make the final jump, propelling into the air while he extended his legs. Only, he was supposed to land already.

So why was he still falling?

Ah— once again, Renjun couldn’t stop himself.

He kept falling.

And falling.

And falling.

He shut his eyes closed and prepared for the impact.

But suddenly he was flying.

Renjun snapped his eyes open.

And he found Jeno.

Jeno who was suddenly in front of his face, his hands around his waist as he spun Renjun around his air, allowing him to land gracefully on his feet.

Renjun could hear ringing in his ear. No longer could he hear the music that played, the sound of the curtains closing, or even the thundering cheers that Renjun grew so euphoric of.

“Renjun, are you okay?”

Jeno’s voice sounded hushed and panicked, his eyes were glowing amongst the dark. Renjun quickly nodded in hopes to give ease to the boy, it seemed to help a little. 

“Why did you-” Renjun started only to be cut short.

“I heard the staff member talking. They said that the ledge was shorter than usual due to some issues that occurred with the stage production team.” Jeno spoke, refusing to take his hands off of Renjun’s waist— Renjun could feel them shaking, “I came backstage to make sure nothing bad happened. I’m glad I did.”

“Jeno-”

“You’re the ending act, right? Come on, let’s go backstage so they can wrap the show up.” Jeno removed his hands from Renjun’s waist. Renjun felt like he was tingling, his steps felt wobbly and heavy as he walked towards the back stage. He felt himself slip, grabbing onto Jeno’s arm a stable for balance.

“Renjun!?”

“Sorry, I’m okay! I think I’m still kinda in shock, I’m sorry. Don’t worry.” Renjun forced out, breathing carefully to catch his breath.

“Right.” Jeno stared for a moment longer, his eyebrows furrowed roughly, “you could hold onto my arm, okay?”

Renjun only nodded, but he thinks the action was even more dizzying. Jeno helped him down the stairs and moved him to sit on one of the chairs. Renjun watched as Jeno began digging through his bag, taking out his water bottle before handing it to him. Renjun took the bottle in his hands carefully, removing the cap before taking large gulps. 

Jeno sat crouched on the floor, his eyes gazing up at Renjun worryingly. Renjun listened as the host announced the end of the show, thanking the guests for attending while the other performers backstage were talking amongst themselves. The audience gave one last cheer, Renjun listened to the lights flickering back on while the crowd began to chatter. He watched as performers left and as family walked backstage to congratulate others on their performance.

“Renjun!”

Renjun turned his head to witness a familiar situation as Donghyuck and Jaemin rushed towards him— Jeno stood up to give the boys some space.

“Hyuc-” Renjun was cut short as Donghyuck wrapped his arms around him, his fingers digging into his back, clenching onto the fabric of his top tightly.

“Are you okay? The audience probably couldn’t tell, but I know for a fact that Jeno catching you like that was not part of the performance!” Donghyuck spoke with urgency, Renjun could feel his chest heaving.

“It’s fine, Hyuck... Honestly, it was surprising, but at that height I would’ve just twisted my ankle at-” Renjun’s sentence was cut short as he felt a light smack to his head. He jerked his head up with widened eyes to see Jaemin, his hand still held up in the air. 

“Don’t say it like that. Even the lightest injury would cause us to worry.”

Renjun was about to speak back to Jaemin, but he found himself shutting his mouth close the moment it opened.

Jaemin’s eyes looked worried, the hand held up in the air was shaking just the littlest bit.

But it was enough for Renjun to notice.

“I’m sorry…” Renjun chose to say instead.

Jaemin started on for a moment longer before rubbing his neck with the palm of his hand, turning his head downwards, “When you look at me like that, how am I supposed to scold you, Renjun?”

“Oh yeah! Jaemin brought you flowers, Junnie!” Donghyuck chirped as he pulled away. It was clear he was trying to brighten up the atmosphere.

“Really?” Renjun asked as he looked towards Jaemin once more, giving him an unsure grin. 

Jaemin returned the shaky smile as he nodded, “I’ll go get it. Wait here for a second.”

Renjun nodded as he watched Jaemin leave the room for a moment, coming back quickly with a bouquet of flowers Renjun found all too familiar. The white flowers were transparent against the dark green leaves. Renjun took them carefully from Jaemin’s hands when he held them out, that usual smile on his face.

“They’re pretty, right? Hibiscus flowers. I think their meaning fits our Injunnie well! It stands for-”

“Delicate beauty.” Renjun finished the sentence for Jaemin, staring at the flowers with a sense of appreciation in his eyes, “I know.”

Jaemin’s eyes widened in shock for a moment before it was quickly replaced by a gentle smile,

“I was right.” Jaemin moved forward in order to tuck a lock of hair behind Renjun’s ear, “They suit you well.”

Renjun lifted his head to properly face Jaemin, and found himself in shock as he felt his breath catch in his throat, his heart filling with an overwhelming sense of warmth.

“Huang Renjun!”

And as quickly as the warmth came, it disappeared.

Renjun flinched in his spot before he turned, looking towards the pair that stormed into the room before drawing his eyes to the ground, “Mother. Father.”

“Can we speak outside? Jeno, you too.” His father spoke— it must’ve been at an average volume, but Renjun felt the words roaring in his ears.

Renjun’s head had jerked up at the mention of Jeno’s name. He looked towards his parents who only stared on with a displeased expression. With a deep breath escaping his lips, he stood up from his seat, “Okay.”

Jeno had already taken Renjun’s bag into his arms. Renjun tightened his hold on the bouquet before looking back at his friends once more.

“Thanks for coming.” Renjun forced a smile on his face as his shoulders squared stiffly. He heard one of the two start to say something, but chose to ignore it. He turned on his heel and followed his parents out of the room, Jeno to his side.

“Why did you trip off the stage? That’s not like you to do, Renjun.” His mother asked harshly, her arms crossed.

Renjun avoided eye-contact, even if the ledge was shorter than usual— she wasn’t wrong. Renjun was always aware of his surroundings, it wasn’t like him to make such a mistake. He didn’t have any reasonable excuse to shove their way.

“And you.” His mother’s voice went low, threatening in a way. Renjun’s head jolted upwards, his eyebrows furrowed as he saw his mother’s gaze fixed on Jeno, “What you did was absolutely inappropriate.”

“I will acknowledge that what you did saved my son from harm,” His mother glare was prominent, “But there were better ways to go about the situation that didn’t involve you getting on that stage.”

Renjun felt rage overflow from his chest as Jeno bowed down— an apology.

“I apol-”

“Are you joking with me? What else was Jeno supposed to do? You two should be happy he was there!” Renjun shouted— he couldn’t help himself from speaking up. All that anger and irritation teeming at his throat refused to go away. He remembers Jeno’s shaky hands, his distressed eyes, and— how could his parents not see that Jeno did the best he could? He even saved the performance, hiding Renjun’s mistake by purposefully spinning him at the end of the song. How could they be so ungrateful?

“Do not speak to us in that tone, Huang Renjun.” His father chided with his usual cold tone. Renjun took a step back— a petal fell from the bouquet. 

He listened as his mother sighed before rubbing at the pitch of her nose.

“Renjun, you’ll be riding with us back.” She said, “Jeno, arrive home alone, please.”

“Why-!”

“Of course.” Jeno cut in before Renjun could finish arguing. 

His mother looked between the pair before grabbing onto her husband’s arm, pulling at him gently.

“...Then we’ll be off.” Her voice was stern as they began walking off. Renjun didn’t budge from his spot, only glancing at Jeno with a frown upon his face.

Jeno only gave him a shy— almost sorry lopsided smile before he opened his mouth to speak.

“Renjun.” It was his mother’s voice.

Renjun twisted his head to face her. Drawing a straight line across his face— Renjun walked to catch up to his parents. His mother attempted to place her hand on his shoulder, but Renjun shrugged it off resentfully.

The car ride was uncomfortable and tense. No one within that vehicle spoke a single word.

Renjun only looked outside his window, watching as the scenery darted by.

Closing his eyes, Renjun wished he was with Jeno. 

He’d much rather be in a car with Jeno— random conversations with zero context thrown into the air as music played on the Bluetooth gently. They could’ve laughed at dumb jokes while Renjun added songs Jeno seemed to like into a playlist. Jeno could’ve been scolding him for sticking his head out the window— or perhaps he would just turn up the heater as Renjun let the exhaustion pass over him

Yeah. 

That would’ve been a lot nicer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is probably gonna be the longest chapter of this fic hehe
> 
> ngl the ending was a lil rushed but that’s okay this whole chapter was lowkey just me stretching out the plot because when i reread the first chapter it felt like everything was going too fast oop-
> 
> also i didn’t mention it last time but i have a noren au on my twitter if anyone wants to read that LOL 
> 
> and lastly i really appreciate all the kudos and comments thank you !!! :]

**Author's Note:**

> follow and ask me questions :]
> 
> also just a quick fyi there’ll probably be slow updates !!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelysungs)
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/puppy_nielie)


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